Posted 18 January 2009 - 02:19 PM
Ill start from the beginning, since being little I have heard voices and seen things which other people dont, My family were not understanding, and i was diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder and put on Lithium and Olanzapine from 13 years old, Im now nearly 29 and all medication has been stopped for over five years and ive been doing great, i never doubted my illness till I started reading things on the internet and watching things on tv, which made me question what I had seen. Four years ago I left my husband for another man who was caring and loving at first, soon after he changed and began beating me whenever he had a drink, I put up with this for almost six weeks, until one day I started hearing a man whispering at first i couldnt understand what he was saying and ignored it then one day whilst alone in the house the voice came through strong and unmistakable it said "hes going to kill you" I instantly packed my bags and left, I thought it was my sub conscience and thats not something im going to ignore. Life really picked up after that I got my own place and sorted myself out, occasionally I heard voices of different people, for instance two older ladies where talking in the pub where i worked about one of there friends and i could hear someone else joining in with them quiet clearly, i didnt feel scared in fact she was making me laugh I even picked up her name i dont know how i just did, I never told anybody in case everyone thought I was ill again, i didnt like being on tablets they made me into an empty emotionless shell, so i kept it to myself. Now i have a partner of three years and i have finally told him what i sometimes experience and he is really supportive, I think i may have gotten in over my head though, as the other night just before the new year i was feeling a little lonely and a little wierd as though someone wanted to talk, so i invited them to, however i may have worded it badly or something because ever since I have been having really bad luck, If i get angry electrical things in my house start to break, lights my washing machine my pc twice, both me and my partner have lost our jobs, him being made redundant me arguing with my mother, (unfortunatly if you work for family even a minor tiff can blow out of proportion) I find people losing there temper with me a lot even though i havnt changed i seem to be radiating bad feelings to those around me, and all voices have stopped, frankly im starting to get scared, The list of bad luck dosnt stop there either family members in mine and my partners family have been taken seriously ill and all this bad luck has started from that day Can anyone give me advise without thinking im crazy or a fraud Ive never tried passing messages on or anything I have barely told anyone but im kind of desperate now, i have children and im starting to worry for them. I dont feel threatened as such i just feel like something is looming. Is this year a significant year? Because i feel the whole world is starting to go wrong.