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Brain cramps


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#1 Simmy

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Posted 13 January 2005 - 12:44 AM

Brain Cramps

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,
because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever,
but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I
can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with
all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey

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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your
life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for
federal anti-smoking campaign.
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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"--Winston
Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in
the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
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"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the
president." --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed
documents.
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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and
I'm just the one to do it," --A congressional candidate in Texas.
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"Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager,
Danny Ozark
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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in
our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President (DUH !)
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"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." --Dan Quayle
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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"--Lee
Iacocca
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"The word 'genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like
Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &sports analyst.
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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of
people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.
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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Bill Clinton,
President
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"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
--Al Gore, VP (BAD_WORD he's smart)
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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery

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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received
notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is
a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they
go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the
next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S.
Fowler, FCC Chairman

#2 little_bunny_bum_knee

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Posted 13 January 2005 - 01:22 AM

OMG, ROFLMAO!!! Those are funny! Thanks Simmy! B)
Little Bunny Bum Knee, hopping through Ghostvillage, scooping up the spirits, and bopping them on the head.

#3 MoonChild

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Posted 13 January 2005 - 01:26 AM

B) someone SAVE me, I have a bad brain :P
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#4 MrGrey

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Posted 13 January 2005 - 12:17 PM

OMG lmao

when they wake up dead they will have a record. lmao i mean seriously come on now lol

nice one sim :lol:
You're sorta stuck where you areBut, in your dreams you can buy expensive cars,or live on mars and have it your wayAnd you hate your boss at your jobwell in your dreams you can blow his head offin your dreams show no mercy]Posted Image

#5 kats_god

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    Has a problem with gas?

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Posted 14 January 2005 - 01:56 PM

funny stuff :(
Check out my artwork at:http://www.jimdemick.com/
and on Facebook
Posted Image https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Art-of-Jim-Demick/261669903877527

Posted ImagePosted Image

"There are some things money can't buy...A good imagination is one of them

#6 aloha_spirit

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Posted 14 January 2005 - 02:44 PM

What's sad is they were serious when they said these things!

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure?!?!?" Isn't that the very definition of failure?

I didn't lose my mind - I have it backed up on a disk ... somewhere





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