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what is love?


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#1 kats_god

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Posted 30 July 2003 - 01:52 AM

can anybody tell me what really makes use feel? why do we fall in love? what makes use hurt when we split up? i know everybody says its from the heart, but its not. is it something in your brain? help me out if you can. i just trying to understand how this stuff really works. i'm sure most of us have been there, so you know what i'm talking about. that feeling like you can't live without somebody, and you can't picture yourself being away from that person. why do we feel that? ???

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#2 MoonChild

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Posted 30 July 2003 - 06:17 AM

hi Kats, Love is all about sharing. This is vague expression of the feeling - love. It can be between mother and child, lovers, brother and sister, friends - love in general.

The feeling why we feel love towards someone can be attributed to many factors. All I can do is to speak from my experience. And I shall speak about love between couples.

My first affair started off with a very close friend of mine. We were really close enough to be emotionally bonded in a very positive way. Then, I "felt" something more about this person and we started going together! Well, 1 1/2 years later this "affair" broke apart. There are many a reasons for this and I dont wanna dwell into this. But once thigns fall apart I was "hurt". The very basic reason for that hurt was "I felt bad because I was rejected". My ego was hurt, my thinking was hurt, my beliefs were hurt. All those years, she was the best person around, and I felt I have "wasted" all those time. This was my reason for feeling hurt.

In the long run, I realized relation is more than just a feeling. The bond I share with my mother and sister is really strong and I am free to be myself in this "love". Also I share closeness with a few friends where I can be myself and I guess that is the key of long lasting love - the chance to be your true self, no matter what. The other person understands and nurtures your positives and really stands by you when your times are bad. It is about sharing - not only the good times, but also the tough ones!
Dunno if this explanation is what you needed, perhaps when other join in - you will get what you asked for!

But I really dunno why we feel "that "feeling"! God's pawns we all are!

LET LOVE LEAD!

Take my hand and we'll go riding through the sunshine from above


#3 Freda

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Posted 30 July 2003 - 07:03 AM

Love, is an emotion that cannot really be defined because there are so many different kinds of love.

You begin life here with a mothers love, and there is no stronger tie on earth than the love a mother has for her child. She nurtures and protects her offspring.

At school you get your first crush and then comes the first real boyfriend/girlfriend when you finally step out into the big wide world. Meaning everything to each other, exploring many emotions that have been under the surface for so long - we think of it as love - but isn't it just the freedom that we are enjoying ? Freedom to make our own choices ? In years ahead there is a tendency to forget all about that first love when you embark on the journey that takes you the rest of your life to work out just what it has all been about.

If you are fortunate, you meet someone who you are prepared to spend the rest of your life with; you raise a family of your own and the parental ties once again click into place as the never ending circle of life and love continues unabated.

Loving is all about sharing, understanding, being there for each other no matter what, caring, warmth, attraction, trust companionship, regard for each other and concern for their well - being at all times.

What is it that makes us fall in love - I personally feel that it is the spark within each of us that realises the need to be able to express love on a physical level.  The part of us that is connected to the creator,  and which recognises instinctively the part that the other person is to play in our lives, when we link up. ( As happens when soul-mates meet ).

We feel pain when something doesn't work out because it is in fact a loss, and there has to be a grieving period as with all losses from someone to our lives ( death or parting ).

When I lost my partner through cancer - it was the end of my world, and I was devastated - but three years later I met someone else, and although the emotion wasn't the same, it has been a good relationship.  We are best friends, and care for each other in a much different way - respect and all the other attributes are there - but the passion is missing ( mind you at our age it doesn't matter as much as it did in the first flush of youth ) .....
Refuse to set boundaries to what is achievable and you will make the impossible happen. Brahma Kumaris.

#4 kats_god

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Posted 30 July 2003 - 12:50 PM

see..i realize what it is to be in love and hurt from a break up. i've been there a few times. i just don't understand why or where the feelings come from. its like 1 day you are normal then bam! you are in love. when you break up you think, how do i go back to where i was before i fell in love. how do i get this feeling to stop? this is a hard 1 to explane. is it something in our brains or something else?

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#5 Rockhauler2k1

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Posted 30 July 2003 - 01:37 PM

Oh thats simple :)

Love is the ability to put another persons needs before your own , unselfishly, while being able to be who you are without the fear of not being loved in return.

There you have it  ;D

Next question?  hehehehehee   :)

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P.S. thats in the simplest terms I could state it without getting too mushy   :-/

P.S.S.  We feel the feelings as a result of allowing ourselves to become emotionally intimate with another person . Man/Woman love

Loving a child is the only example of pure love I can express next to what I feel for SpiritsofMd . I love her with the same comitment as I have for my children but in an adult /man/woman kind of way.  The depth of feeling is the same . In order to feel this though , Ive had to take a huge risk as has she and many blind steps . Faith in each other based on trust and an attachment value is critical.
We do both understand that eventually we will part (no one controls fate ) . The understanding is that without taking the risk , you cant enjoy the benefits of truely loving or being loved.


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#6 flyingorb

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Posted 30 July 2003 - 02:03 PM

I think that love comes from our soul, lust comes from biological reactions to stimulus (pheromones and stuff).  

Since love is a product of the soul, there is nothing physically that we can do to lessen the leaving of someone we love.  Time is the only cure, or possibly, just go and buy yourself a chihuahua! *LOL* ;D
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#7 kats_god

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Posted 30 July 2003 - 07:23 PM

ok..now what exactly is a soul? i mean...what does it do?

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#8 kats_god

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Posted 30 July 2003 - 07:27 PM

see. this is one of those topic thats hard to answer. like space...its kinda hard to believe space is forever. does it end? wow. it blows my mind thinking about stuff like that.

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#9 maharet

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Posted 30 July 2003 - 08:47 PM

I have to agree that giving of yourself unselfishly is definitely a big part of love. For the longest time I couldn't do that and so I went from relationship to relationship, not being able to figure out why they kept failing so badly.

Then of course came the same emotions that everyone else feels.

I guess it's being with that person who you just clique with and can trust totally and completely. But that person also has to be able to give unselfishly to you too.

#10 Kellerz

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Posted 31 July 2003 - 07:49 AM

We just did this in my psychology course...some scientific reasons are that we are attracted to people who are genetically different to us. One study had women smell sweaty shirts of men  :) and choose which one they preffered finding that women preffered men who were there genetic opposites. And also that when women are ovulating they go for more masculine types..but at other times go for more feminine men who will help raise kids...so just want the masculine ones for there genes. So if this is the case love is all just silly hormones  ;D  
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#11 Freda

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Posted 31 July 2003 - 09:25 AM

Love isn't all about silly hormones  :)  but it certainly plays havoc with them at times !

When you love someone you love them more than self, and it is a lot of emotions rolled into one.

It can drive you to distraction or make you feel safe and secure.

It is the reaching out of one soul to another in a sense of belonging or wanting to belong to something that nobody has ever been able to fathom out the reason for.

When you feel lost without the object of your emotions, as if you are only half alive ..... then you are in love, but trying to define what it actually means is impossible because it means different things to different people.  It can make you happy or sad, fulfilled or empty .... if you have it take care of it and protect it  always.
Refuse to set boundaries to what is achievable and you will make the impossible happen. Brahma Kumaris.

#12 maharet

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Posted 02 August 2003 - 07:32 PM

My guess is that the genetic opposites are for breeding purposes. Trying to find the best combo to pass onto offspring or something like that on the primal level.

Eww, sweaty shirts....

#13 ghosthuntress16

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Posted 02 August 2003 - 07:38 PM

From a teenage perspective:
Love Hurts.
Believe as if your life depended on it, for indeed it does.

#14 whispers_of_fire

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Posted 03 August 2003 - 10:34 AM

Rock, that was the best definition of love I've ever heard
next to my older sister's:

"Love is realizing that sometimes the person can be a butt, but you can live with it and the other person realizing that YOU can sometimes be a butt, but they can
live with it." LOL*Pardon my paraphrasing

*LOL*Fly, I'm actually considering it at this point :)
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#15 maharet

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Posted 04 August 2003 - 01:48 PM

If that's the definition of love, then I know a lot of people who say "I love you" and don't know what they're saying because they run off when they don't get precisely what they want.

:)




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