129 replies to this topic

[spooksareus]

I've been thinking about the inherent evil in narcisism and mental illness. It is extrodanary how they can see themselves as above reproach in their selfish ways yet truly view other people many even of good intent through a glass darkly.

When I was very young, I was stalked by a person who had some sort of strange delusion about me going on in his head. He spun wierd tales of the evil he percieved I was doing to him to anyone who would listen.

I found this out from a woman who called me from out of the blue to tell me to leave the poor guy alone and stop calling him. This was news to me as I had never called him before and in fact had a restraining order (worthless at the time pre anti-stalking laws 1983) on him to keep him from harrassing me anymore.

You see, he had been a cutomer of the nightclubs I used to sing at, and he had started a "relationship" that was all in his head with me. Long story short, he showed up at my house one day and offered me this "engagement" ring. It was bad enough that the nut ball had followed me home and knew where I lived now but this was truly scary.

The scariest thing by far though was that the police and a lot of other people thought that I somehow led him on and that I just needed to kiss and make up with this clown! You see, he had so convinced himself that I was stalking him that he began stalking me!

His sister came to one of my shows finally to tell me that she thought that her brother was truly going crazy and that she knew that I had nothing to do with his sick delusions. She was worried for my safety and told me I should move before he ended up killing me.

I did.

A couple of months later a cop who had been sent out to my new place because he had found me again told me that they wouldn't really be able to do anything about him until he killed me "and" he pointed out "he will." He told me that I had to move out of the state and not tell anyone where I had really gone, because as he put it " You must face the fact that someone you know keeps telling him where you are, and it's obvious you don't who it is".

Such a pain, anyway there it is, 20 years later he was still calling my father occasionally looking for me. My dad always tells him that there's no one here for you to kill...

[spooksareus]

The reason I bring this subject up seemingly out of the blue, is that I have a cyber stalker now and it's so damned pathetic.

Here is a description of what this stalker is like:

False Stalking / False Victims

False victims, as they are sometimes known, use a variety of situations to attract attention to themselves. In some cases they may harass their own family and friends in order to fabricate false evidence or witness reports. This type of stalker firmly believes that he or she is the real victim.

In a sense there is a victim - the perpetrator. Why victimize yourself? Perhaps the person noticed how kind and considerate others were to them, when they presented themselves as a victim some time in the past. In short - the perpetrator/victim takes immense pleasure from being cared for and being the center of attention. One very common trait of this type of stalker is to file false police report(s) against the "real stalking victim."

These stalkers are frequently delusional and irrational. When presented with the facts, this type of stalker will rationalize and manipulate everything he can and ignore even a direct question, in order to preserve his fantasy of being the victim. He will initiate conflicts and then twist them in his favor in an attempt to gain positive attention for himself. He feels very inferior to the victim whom he admires greatly, although he will rarely admit this to be true. In reality, this kind of stalker suffers from a severe lack of self-esteem.

This form of stalker, believing himself to be inferior, wronged or rejected by the ones they admire the most, begin harassing, following the victim, spreading tales, keeping tabs, and in many instances plot revenge. The primary motive is to bring the victim down by any means he can.

So what screw is loose in these people who harbor these delusions? All I do know is that they can be dangerous, and to dismiss them out of hand can be very foolish? Oh well, here I go again

[earth_spirit]

spooks, this is a frightening "blast from the past" for me, as I had a similar situation that mirrors much of what you describe here. For anyone who might be experiencing something like this, I recommend this book: I Know You Really Love Me: A Psychiatrist's Account of Stalking and Obsessive Love by Dr. Doreen Orion.

One of the frightening facts that Dr. Orion brings up is that the average stalker pursues his/her victim for an average of ten years.

[spooksareus]

Oh yuck, I know that first hand I'm afraid . Really great book by the way...

[spooksareus]

my friend bruce called to tell me that someone had posted something hideous to my blog. I can tell you it wasn't me and it is indeed hideous:



What sicko number one would bother hacking into my blog,
and two what the hell is that thing?

[Kira]

Hey Spooks,

I got that picture (above) in an email joke once. The joke went something like this (my friend sent it to me over a year ago):

Do you believe your computer can take a picture of you? Ok, then count to 10, smile and click your mouse button. You scroll down and it says, wait, you moved, count to 10 and take another picture. You scroll down some more, then you click a link and that picture pops up and says: You didn't really think a computer can take your picture did you? And if I remember correctly, I think it laughs at you.

However, for someone to post that on your blog is downright WRONG! It's like breaking into your house or something, a complete and total violation of your personal space!

I once had a friend who turned out to be severly mentally ill. She is bipolar, has personality disorder, and I'm sure several other diagnoses. Every once in a while she would go off her meds and go crazy. She would send crazy, mean, accusatory emails not only to me, but to all of my family members. She would call my husband's family members in Mass and Ohio, (we have no idea how she got their names and numbers) and say awful things about us. Twice she called Child Protective Services on me saying my husband and I had drugs in the house. She got fired from every job she had, got evicted from every apartment she lived in, her life was awful. Finally, she lived with a good friend of hers after her last eviction and molested her 12 year old daughter. Thankfully...............she is in jail now. Now, eventually she will be out. She will blame everyone else for her problems because she is incapable of taking responsibility for her actions. She honestly, whole-heartedly feels she is the victim. People like that in my opinion are truly EVIL. I will be frightened when she gets out. Hopefully she will not return to this part of the state.

I am sorry for what you are going through. I know the feeling of helplessness you must be experiencing right now. It's sad that the police are not much help. But I'm sure that the people here on GV, myself included, will pray for your safety.

Kira

[spooksareus]

Your a love Kira, thanks for that. I'm more disturbed and annoyed than anything else at this point, after all I survived a bona fide whacko in the outside world for for two decades, this is just a bit of poop in my cyber shoe at this point. Although I will be cautious.

I see you know first hand what it's like to have a truly sick person trying to do damage to you in one way or another, yucky aint it?

Oh well, life goes on and so do we.

Thanks again for your kind understanding dear one it means a lot to me.

[spiritalk]

It may have been posted before...but does anyone have some concrete suggestions for relief from nut cases.

My story: As a teacher and mentor of an individual, they have become disenchanted and left our organization...but not without a lot of nonsense. Blogs on the internet are rampant. Going into sites where they never posted before to trash any comment you make. etc. etc.

I know it is low self esteem. I know they have a problem (there is a history of harrassing others). How can it be discouraged without looking (and acting) like a victim?

So far ignoring the ignorant has not worked! (This has been going on for almost a year.)

God bless, J

[spooksareus]

You got me on that one darlin, these wack-os can happily disrupt your life for years!

The scary thing to me is that this person actually hacked into my site and posted that thing on my template ! Now who would bother to get into my personal posting space just to leave that disgusting thing? Good thing there wasn't any important personal info in there. Thats like going home and finding the door unlocked and finding a pig pile of poop on your sofa!

Edited by spooksareus, 16 May 2007 - 09:54 AM.

[NightNGaleX3x]

I know I'm late and now shifting the tide of the subject again ^^

Evil. To me a being who is evil is pure hate, without love and compassion, and acts on his negativity on impulse; it's "his" nature to be willfully captive in his spite and malice. He enjoys harming others because he thinks that he benefits from it and that they deserve it. To him he's morally right or just doesn't care. He can't fathom why someone would think him in the wrong. He could want to share his pain with everyone just because if he hurts, everyone else should, too. He could think because of that, you couldn't call him selfish because it's sharing. Hurt is all he is and all he gives yet his thirst is unquenchable. He will never forgive and let live because simply put, he is all he is concerned with by nature. There is nothing anything or anyone can do to change him. No pills, no therapy, no friends, no anything.

I can't say Stalin or Hitler or whomever was evil. I don't know their very essence. I don't know what their reasoning for being put here was and I don't know what happened to them once they went to the ethereality. I think hurting people just to hurt them or for selfish reasons is evil but that doesn't make the person evil. If you can love and if you can admit you don't know everything, if you at least ponder your morality, you aren't evil; not as I see it, because you can still see and choose.