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I'm having a panic attack!


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#1 bardo

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Posted 31 August 2006 - 10:33 PM

My son is heading off to university on Saturday and I don't know how it happened so fast!
It just seems like yesterday that I welcomed my first born into the world all sweet and innocent.
If I could turn the clock back I would .
I love him just the way he is but I don't want to see him walk out the door.
I find myself crying and thinking of old times , you'd think I was never going to see him again!
My house has always been the house everyone comes to so I'm not only losing my son I'm losing all my other children too!
I am so proud of these kids they are all going off to university with plans to change the world and I have to come to the realization that I can no longer protect them.
This week has been full of kids showing up to say goodbye and it's weird you'd think it was a wake or something.
It's been a week of tears ,laughing and looking back at the good old days.
These kids are going on a new journey and it's bitter sweet ,saying goodbuy to friends who have been with you through the laughter and the pain of growing up.
There are thoughts of one dear friend who won't be going with them because she died in a car accident last October ,that shock pushed them even closer.
I want to say to all G.V friends and guests ,if you are a parent give your child a big hug and savour every moment of their childhood because they grow up so fast!
If you are a teenager leaving home for the first time don't worry your parents hav'nt gone insane they are just trying to adjust to life without their little ones (I no your not little anymore but we parents have a hard time with that concept)
Boy do I feel sorry for my youngest he is going to have to put up with a clingy mom for awhile.
Does anyone have any stories they would like to share about this subject?
It would be great to hear your take on this subject.
Posted Image Dreams are today's answers to tomorrow's questions. Edgar Cayce


#2 beccaluvsghostsntexas

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Posted 31 August 2006 - 11:02 PM

I feel your pain Bardo!!! I too have 2 boys 18 & 20.....the oldest isn't going off but the youngest one is. It is hard, but isn't also so very amazing to see them grow?! I have cried for sooo many years, every little thing they did I cried. Their first program in grade school, going into band in jr high & going to our first band concerts, how amazing was it to see my son in a band playing an instrument that is almost as big as he was (he played the tuba) and having never played it before.....then again when my youngest one came up right behind the oldest one...then, once in high school there were the band uniforms & marching, boo hooo boooooo hoooo, yep, tears then too!! Then, seeing them in their cap & gown for the first time....oh my goodness....the only sad thing about my youngest ones graduation is that he won't have his brother in the band playing pomp & circumstance like he got to for him!

You will be in my thoughts all this year as I experience all of these things one last time.....each tear I will feel your pain.....I hope that you find that your happiness doesn't stop when they walk out that door, for eventually when they walk back through it they will have proof of all the love & good things that you as a parent instilled in them for they literally do have their lives ahead of them & we, as future grandparents have all of it to watch happen, aren't we blessed!?!
It's just Becca Posted Image

#3 bardo

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Posted 01 September 2006 - 02:36 AM

I feel your pain Bardo!!! I too have 2 boys 18 & 20.....the oldest isn't going off but the youngest one is. It is hard, but isn't also so very amazing to see them grow?! I have cried for sooo many years, every little thing they did I cried. Their first program in grade school, going into band in jr high & going to our first band concerts, how amazing was it to see my son in a band playing an instrument that is almost as big as he was (he played the tuba) and having never played it before.....then again when my youngest one came up right behind the oldest one...then, once in high school there were the band uniforms & marching, boo hooo boooooo hoooo, yep, tears then too!! Then, seeing them in their cap & gown for the first time....oh my goodness....the only sad thing about my youngest ones graduation is that he won't have his brother in the band playing pomp & circumstance like he got to for him!

You will be in my thoughts all this year as I experience all of these things one last time.....each tear I will feel your pain.....I hope that you find that your happiness doesn't stop when they walk out that door, for eventually when they walk back through it they will have proof of all the love & good things that you as a parent instilled in them for they literally do have their lives ahead of them & we, as future grandparents have all of it to watch happen, aren't we blessed!?!


Thanks so much for the kind words.
I'm typing this at 3:00 in the morning because( I can't sleep I have cried so much now I'm all stuffed up)
I didn't think it was going to affect me the way it has.
He has always been a good kid and great company.
Even though he has alot of friends he has always made the time for me too.
I think the thing that is bothering me the most is I took to being a mom like a duck takes to water.
It has been by far the best experience of my life.
And I thought I would be able to set my kids free when the time came but I don't know how to let go.
I had never had regrets about the way I brought the boys up I have always devoted my time to them.
When my husband would say he wished the boys were 7&5 again I would say I love them just the way they are.
Now I'm desperately trying to figure how to turn back the time.
I sure can see now why ppl. bother their kids to give them grandkids i can't imagine not having kids in my house some day even though my husband and i are very close.
I will be doing massive changes to my house to pass the time,lots of painting to keep busy these next few months.
Posted Image Dreams are today's answers to tomorrow's questions. Edgar Cayce


#4 Flormarina

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Posted 02 September 2006 - 06:58 AM

Hi bardo!
I can understand how you feel, perfectly, I have three children, 2 boys and a girl, and they are all gone, already, yes, they grow so fast, so darn fast!!.(I am still getting use to live alone)
Try to think about all the happy times, you spended together, and live pround of the parent you are, because, our children left because we thought them right, they are strong, brave, smart, independent, and is all, because they learn it from you..... they have go to and catch their rain-bow and find place in life, but you always be the place to came back to, their refuge,. Aren't you proud to see how beautiful they strech their wings? :Spaz:

:Spaz: :Spaz:
Flormarina
Posted ImageFlormarinaIf you got something to tell the world, write a book....

#5 Flormarina

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Posted 02 September 2006 - 07:08 AM


Thanks so much for the kind words.
I'm typing this at 3:00 in the morning because( I can't sleep I have cried so much now I'm all stuffed up)
I didn't think it was going to affect me the way it has.
He has always been a good kid and great company.
Even though he has alot of friends he has always made the time for me too.
I think the thing that is bothering me the most is I took to being a mom like a duck takes to water.
It has been by far the best experience of my life.
And I thought I would be able to set my kids free when the time came but I don't know how to let go.
I had never had regrets about the way I brought the boys up I have always devoted my time to them.
When my husband would say he wished the boys were 7&5 again I would say I love them just the way they are.
Now I'm desperately trying to figure how to turn back the time.
I sure can see now why ppl. bother their kids to give them grandkids i can't imagine not having kids in my house some day even though my husband and i are very close.
I will be doing massive changes to my house to pass the time,lots of painting to keep busy these next few months.


I been up since 3:30 am, ia 5 am, and I can't sleep eather, only the people who had experience what you are going throught will understand. I am not sure if we can ever get used to live away from the kids, but, we can learn to live it. , and survive.
Try to rest, I asure your child will love you just the same, and if he sees that you are fine, he will go with more confidence.
:Spaz:
Hugs
Posted ImageFlormarinaIf you got something to tell the world, write a book....

#6 Night Star

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Posted 02 September 2006 - 10:53 AM

Jeez Bardo, you scared me. I thought you were having a real panic attack. :ghost:

I don't have children, but I feel for you at this time. Bittersweet indeed. Your children are on the wonderful journey of life. The love is there no matter where they are or what they do.
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#7 bardo

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Posted 03 September 2006 - 09:44 PM

Hi bardo!
I can understand how you feel, perfectly, I have three children, 2 boys and a girl, and they are all gone, already, yes, they grow so fast, so darn fast!!.(I am still getting use to live alone)
Try to think about all the happy times, you spended together, and live pround of the parent you are, because, our children left because we thought them right, they are strong, brave, smart, independent, and is all, because they learn it from you..... they have go to and catch their rain-bow and find place in life, but you always be the place to came back to, their refuge,. Aren't you proud to see how beautiful they strech their wings? :clap:

:hug: :hug:
Flormarina


Wow how are you doing it?
I have a 15yr.old at home still so I am not totally alone yet but it is really hard.
I think it's when i think of the happy mem. is when it hurts so much.
I can still see the boys riding their trikes and playing together.
I think being a mother has been the best and most important job I have ever had and it's hard to believe I can't have any children anymore.
I have too dogs and I so want the mothering feeling I was seriously thinking of a puppy.....lol
My poor husband he's having to put up with a crying mess.
Oh well life goes on doesn't it..........way too fast!
Thanks for the help.
bardo
Posted Image Dreams are today's answers to tomorrow's questions. Edgar Cayce


#8 bardo

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Posted 03 September 2006 - 09:54 PM

Jeez Bardo, you scared me. I thought you were having a real panic attack. :clap:

I don't have children, but I feel for you at this time. Bittersweet indeed. Your children are on the wonderful journey of life. The love is there no matter where they are or what they do.


Oh I had one all right !
Your right it is a wonderfull journey,one I thought I was prepared for.
As a parent you have to learn to let go and help your kids on their adventure.
I thought I would be strong....as I have been through all kinds of adventures throughout the years .
This one threw me for a loop!
I didn't think it would affect me like this.
The house will get a much needed cleaning and I will do extra volunteer work ,hopefully that will help.
Thanks for the help!
Bardo
Posted Image Dreams are today's answers to tomorrow's questions. Edgar Cayce


#9 rat girl

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Posted 04 September 2006 - 04:50 AM

i dont have children so i cant understand what your going through, but your children will always be your babies and they will aways come home to you, they will know that you will always be there for them, they are starting lifes big adventure, and i bet you youll look back on this moment and wonder what all the fuss was about!!

lots of hugs going your way :clap: :clap: everything will be fine!!!
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#10 erna_butter

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Posted 04 September 2006 - 05:58 AM

I will tell you one thing Bardo, while I have no kids of yet...I can tell you that from someone who is a child of a mother who has left the nest...WE NEED OUR MOMMIES !!!! :clap:

I am married and live right around the corner from my mother and she is either here all the time or I am there..I hate being away from her or not seeing her for periods of time...makes me grumpy I think..

I have lived on my own for a few years and always find myself coming back to her no matter what, the same with my brother and he is 31,,,

kepp strong, before you know it the phone and the doorbell will keepo ringing and it will be as though they had never left ...take my word for it
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#11 Flormarina

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Posted 06 September 2006 - 12:27 AM


Hi bardo!
I can understand how you feel, perfectly, I have three children, 2 boys and a girl, and they are all gone, already, yes, they grow so fast, so darn fast!!.(I am still getting use to live alone)
Try to think about all the happy times, you spended together, and live pround of the parent you are, because, our children left because we thought them right, they are strong, brave, smart, independent, and is all, because they learn it from you..... they have go to and catch their rain-bow and find place in life, but you always be the place to came back to, their refuge,. Aren't you proud to see how beautiful they strech their wings? :weeee:

:ghost: :(
Flormarina


Wow how are you doing it?
I have a 15yr.old at home still so I am not totally alone yet but it is really hard.
I think it's when i think of the happy mem. is when it hurts so much.
I can still see the boys riding their trikes and playing together.
I think being a mother has been the best and most important job I have ever had and it's hard to believe I can't have any children anymore.
I have too dogs and I so want the mothering feeling I was seriously thinking of a puppy.....lol
My poor husband he's having to put up with a crying mess.
Oh well life goes on doesn't it..........way too fast!
Thanks for the help.
bardo

I try to keep busy, most of the time, I take care my garden and home, and yes, I do miss them very much, I have join a group of arthist and I get together with them a couple of days a week to paint, is fun, I got new friends, I don't have a husband to hold me but I do have my dog.... well my daughter's dog left me too... (got lost)... I can't get out and get a job because I am still in rehabilitation from the accident I had in May... but I am holding on... and trying to live life, like nothing is happening... sometimes it sucks!!!.
When I talk to the kids, on the phone, I always tell them how proud I am for them and how good they are doing, and ofcourse, I send them my love, and encourage them to keep their chin up and to do their best.
About 8 years ago, I wrote a small article called "there is life after children", and published it, and now I know that one thing is to write something about a subject, and another to really play the part.
But I soppose it takes time to get used to, sometimes, you will be fine, and your son will too.
Take care, and good luck to your son.
:hug:
Flormarina
Posted ImageFlormarinaIf you got something to tell the world, write a book....

#12 bardo

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Posted 07 September 2006 - 05:45 PM

Thanks everybody!!!!!!!!
You'll never guess what happened?
He's back!
He couldn't do it.........hated being away from his home and friends so he transferd to a university within driving distance.
Now our house is all happy again,even the dogs are walking around with a smile their face.
Thanks again to everybody and they encouraging words!!! :Spaz:
Posted Image Dreams are today's answers to tomorrow's questions. Edgar Cayce


#13 heavenlee

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Posted 07 September 2006 - 08:39 PM

Bardo, A new begining for him. My daughter is going to a community college , she says she doesnt plan on leaving till she's done! So that makes 7 kids for quit awhile. If you need to borrow any to get you through the ajustment i can send you a twin boy, we can rotate twins every other week. They need a break from each other. Sometimes my hubby and i thhink how good it will feel some day to be just us, i bet when the time comes so will the tears.~Hlee
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#14 Flormarina

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Posted 08 September 2006 - 08:38 AM

Thanks everybody!!!!!!!!
You'll never guess what happened?
He's back!
He couldn't do it.........hated being away from his home and friends so he transferd to a university within driving distance.
Now our house is all happy again,even the dogs are walking around with a smile their face.
Thanks again to everybody and they encouraging words!!! :wow:

Bardo, those are great news :clap: !!!!!, I am soo glad for you, and your family

:Wall: :(
Posted ImageFlormarinaIf you got something to tell the world, write a book....

#15 bardo

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Posted 08 September 2006 - 08:34 PM

Thanks everybody!!!!!!!!
You'll never guess what happened?
He's back!
He couldn't do it.........hated being away from his home and friends so he transferd to a university within driving distance.
Now our house is all happy again,even the dogs are walking around with a smile their face.
Thanks again to everybody and they encouraging words!!! :hug:


Wow !
If I had that many kids I might be glad to lose a few too! lol
I wish i had more than two kids!
I never wanted the conventional two child family .
For some reason I misscaried twice after having the boys ,I would have loved to have a big family....not sure I could have had the energy for seven thought.
Send one of the twins here anytime!!!!!!


Thanks everybody!!!!!!!!
You'll never guess what happened?
He's back!
He couldn't do it.........hated being away from his home and friends so he transferd to a university within driving distance.
Now our house is all happy again,even the dogs are walking around with a smile their face.
Thanks again to everybody and they encouraging words!!! :hug:

Bardo, those are great news :Spaz: !!!!!, I am soo glad for you, and your family

:hug: :hug:


Thank you!
:hug:
Posted Image Dreams are today's answers to tomorrow's questions. Edgar Cayce





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