30 replies to this topic

[AllyLoveLove]

Our firt-born child was stillborn at full-term gestation. We named her Alanna Je'Nell. She would have been 14 years old yesterday. It took me nearly two years to recover emotionally from losing her. I was only 19 years old when I had her.

I often wish that I could have some kind of contact with her from the other side. However, I wonder if she would even be able to communicate with me because she was an un-born infant when she passed.

What are everyone's thoughts on what happens to children and babies when they cross over? Do they continue to mature and age on the other side? Or, does age mean nothing in the spirit realm? Do we revert back to an elemental essence to which age as we define it does not apply? What about accounts of interactive hauntings (not imprints or residual) in which the spirit of a person who died as a child presents itself in a childlike manner. Be it in form, voice, or actions. Is that spirit presenting itself in that manner because it's elemental essence had only reached that particular level of maturity while in this realm? Or is that being actually still at that level of maturity?

When I think of my daughter, I always think of her as being a baby. I guess it is a lot for my mind to grasp an existance where age might not be a factor.

Anyway, this is something that I wonder about a lot.

[Holly]

Ally, first let me say how sorry I am for the loss of Alanna Je'Nell. I can only imagine the devastation and you have my sympathy -

As far as her communicating with you... Well, I believe that spirits(especially those of loved ones) appear to us as they feel we need to see them.

I watched my father being destroyed by cancer. Yet, when my son and I see him, he appears to be the picture of health. And isn't that as it should be?

I do not believe we continue to age in the afterlife. Nonetheless, I think you could communicate with your daughter. Many times it's not the words that are spoken aloud, but the thoughts that are transferred from one mind to another. I think she is capable of this and is able to feel the love you send to her.

[freyjasdottir]

Ally,

I saw your post earlier but could not respond as I was at work.  I am very sorry for your lost and I agree with Holly your little girl is still with you.  I'm not sure about aging, those who believe in reincarnation may say she may have come back to you already, me, I don't know about that but I do know the love lasts forever.  She knows how much you love her still though you never got to hold her in life.

[linuxbear]

OMG im am so sorry for your loss. I dont know what it is like to lose a child but i do know what it is like to lose someone you love. Some people believe that when we die, we cross over and wait to be reborn and others believe that when we die our soul goes to its final place of rest be it heaven or hell . I remember asking my grandmother when i was a child about death and what happens and she would always say the same thing. No matter when you die or how you die your family will know you and you will know them no matter what shape or form they take and i think that is important.  I think that the spirits of those we love take a for that we are comfortable with and i think that if a child dies that they have the same option. I wont say they age but can look aged if that makes since. Just remember that no matter if you see her while your living or you have to wait she will always be with you and knows  you love her and she loves you

[AllyLoveLove]

Thanks for the thoughts, everyone.

It does make sense that Alanna will always be able to feel the love we have for her and how much we wish that she were here with us no matter what level of maturity she is at right now. However, I still can't help but wonder what she is like on the other side. I guess that it is hard to grasp the concept of existing without a body since our bodies seem to define so much of who we are while we are here. I mean, it really is a big part of how we are identified. How we look is a huge part of who we are in this world.

And, it makes sense that a spirit would choose to present itself to family members or friends in a manner that their loved ones would be comfortable with. However, why then, would a spirit connect with strangers in the same manner? Such as interactive hauntings in which a spirit presents itself to strangers as the age he/she was while alive? That's just something that has me wondering.

Thank you for all the kind words. I really appreciate it. Like I said, it has been 14 years so the wounds aren't fresh. Also, I have been VERY fortunate to be blessed with three healthy children. I went on to have (after two miscarriages) two healthy boys and a beautiful baby girl. Our new baby girl was a total surprise, by the way. I kept pushing for my hubby to get a vasectomy, and he kept putting it off. And, surprise!!! I found out that I was pregnant on April Fool's Day 2002. Our little Ally is 19 months old and she is everything that I had dreamed Alanna would have been. She has not replaced Alanna, but she has really helped to fill some of the whole that was left behind when we lost Alanna.

Ky

[Holly]

Quote

However, why then, would a spirit connect with strangers in the same manner?

I've had contact with many spirits in my life, Ally, and here's my thought about your question -

Our family members and loved ones appear as we knew them during their lives. This is what we need to see and they know that.

Strangers, on the other hand...Ahhh, who can know? I may see a 25 year old woman, but perhaps she actually passed when she was 65. How can I know unless a resulting investigation leads me to that knowledge? I use those ages as an example because that's exactly the situation I experienced a few years ago.

Since most of my passing interactions with spirits are brief, I usually have no history to refer to. In other words, they do like to be seen, and can present themselves in a way that they feel most comfortable.

I have never seen a spirit present himself or herself bearing wounds or signs of illness unless there is a reason for it.

[linuxbear]

good point

[trudy_causey]

Have you ever heard of Sylvia Browne? She is a fantastic psychic she is on the Montel show this month every wednesday. She has written many books about communicating with our loved ones who have crossed over. In her books when a loved one crosses no matter what age they are on the other side we are all the age of thirty. But since you would not recognize your baby girl at that age she would come to you at a closer age that you would know her. I am so terribly sorry for your loss, my sister lost a daughter March 1st just about 5 months ago and I know how hard it has been for her. Please except my deepest sympathies.
                        With Love,
                           Trudy

[Holly]

I'm not a big fan of Sylvia Browne's - I know Montel is crazy about her and features her alot on his show, but something about her doesn't sit right with me.
I guess what it is is that I think she may be gifted, but she embellishes on her insight, adding too much of her own personal opinions. In other words, if she is communicating with someone for me, I want to hear what that person has to say, not what Sylvia thinks about it all.

Why does she think everyone on the other side is 30 years old? ???

[linuxbear]

I never understood the whole everyone is 30 thing my self. I have seen many spirits of different age so i dont know were she gets that unless it is how they choose to show them selfs to her.

[anasuya]

I tend to believe that our souls exist outside of the bodies we are born with. An infant, although small and incapable of speech, has all the knowledge it needs within it's spiritual grasp, as it were. The soul is merely restricted by the body it inhabits. So I think it's definitely possible that the soul that once inhabited an ifant is quite capable of communicating at a level we could understand.

Ana

[little_light]

Ally,
Im very sorry for your lost...And I wish you luck!
               littlelight

[petunia4998]

Ally, I too am sorry to hear of your loss; 14 years can be a long time and it can be yesterday.  I mean no disrespect in what I say, but it is possible that there was no spirit in your child's body, especially if she was stillborn.  This lesson was just for you and your husband, to know what it was like to lose a baby.  And perhaps there was something wrong with the timing or the location, something like that, that would keep that spirit from coming at that time.  But it seems as though you have her now so things have worked out okay for you all.  Apparently she wanted to be with you very much and that's very beautiful.  I have a cat that went through many incarnations till we could get it right in this life.  

There is no such thing as age in the spirit world so I don't know where Sylvia Brown gets the age of 30, but spirits can, and do, appear to us in the form that we would recognize but beautiful forms because they're now one with the light.  But I'm glad to know that you and your daughter can now enjoy yourselves with each other.

[hunnyfire]

I am truly sorry for your lost. I cannot begin to imagine what pain or wish that type of pain not even to my worst enemy. Of course your child would keep in contact with you. She will guide you through the storms and the wind of life. She is your angel and you are her mother so she will protect you.

Sometimes in life we come across losses that have no explanations. Your heart will break and then you catch yourself asking GOD why. There's no real truth about infants leaving this world so soon. I don't know, GOD works in mysterious ways.

Hunny

[AllyLoveLove]

Hi, All

Thanks again for all the replies and kind words.

Yes, I have seen Sylvia Browne, and I'm with Holly, there is just something about her that rubs me the wrong way. She may very well be gifted and it's just her personality that bugs me. But, I guess that really doesn't matter. I, too, am curious as to why she feels that everyone is thirty years old on the other side. Does anyone know what her reasoning behind that is?

Well, I choose to believe that unborn babies do have a soul. I don't feel that the soul enters the baby only when it is born. This is something that I just seem to sense when I am pregnant.