30 replies to this topic

[AllyLoveLove]

Trudy,

My heart goes out to your sister. Losing a child, no matter what their age, is such a rough rough road to have to travel. And, no one can ever truly relate unless they,too, have lost a child. A child's absence can leave such a deep hole in your life. It takes lots of love, light, and time to fill it. And still, there will always be a space of longing.

I know that everyone is different, but I needed to talk about my baby and losing her a lot. I think that people tend to make the mistake of not bringing up the subject because they don't want to upset you. However, I didn't want anyone to forget that my daughter was real. She was here and she was alive and her life mattered. And, I felt that if no one mentioned her, it was as if she had never existed.

I will be sending some healing thoughts for your sister.

Alanna was full-term. Therefore, I had to give birth just as you would with a live baby. Everything was the same, just that the room was completely silent when she came out, no healthy newborn cries. That was the hardest moment of my life. They didn't let me hold her right away, even though I was crying out for her. Finally, I held her for as long as I could and I tried to memorize every little detail about her. Her tiny little finger nails, her little wisps of hair. I felt as though some of her life force was still there. Her body didn't feel empty or void as bodies seem to feel when I have viewed them at wakes.

We had a funeral for her. I spent the whole time holding her tiny hand and staring at her. But, at that point, I felt as though her life force was gone from her body. It didn't feel as though she was there anymore, but it was still hard to let go of her body. No one should ever have to see their child in a casket.

It really is a rough rough road to travel. It does get easier, but you need lots of support, love, and understanding from those around you.

[trudy_causey]

My heart goes out to you and your family. I know how much you still miss your beautiful little girl and I agree with you, let your friends and family know that you like talking about her and it just makes you feel better that they realize you need to hear her name mentioned that it brings you happiness. My sister and I talk about Amanda when we get to see one another. My sister Fran lives in Charleston SC and I live in NC but it just seems to make Frans face and eyes lightup when we talk about the fun times and the memories.Just remember that Alanna is always with you and talk to her let her know that you know she is still very much apart of your life.
Mandy talked to me in a dream the other night and wanted to know why her Mom is so upset.So I called Fran and told her and she was mad because she had not recieved her last pay check from the company she used to work for, but as we were talking on the phone it came by express mail so she told me to let Mandy know that she will be o.k. now. Mandy hasn't appeared to my sister as yet maybe she thinks its to soon and she will wait a while to contact Fran. Give my love to Alanna and please always communicate with her.
                       My Love &Blessings,
                              Trudy

[trudy_causey]

Please stay in contact with me!
trudycausey@yahoo.com

[AllyLoveLove]

Amanda, what a pretty name. I almost named my Allyson, Amanda. I have a thing for names that start with A.  

How wonderful for your sister to have such support through you. That makes all the difference in the world!!

And, it's fantastic that Amanda can come to you. Has she only come to you in dreams?

Thank you again for the kind words and for sharing with me.

Ky

[Alsie R.]

ally i'm so sorry about the loss of your baby. i can remember when my aunt had a miscarriage and that was hard for the entire family but i can't imagine going through the entire pregnancy to give birth to a dead baby.
 and to respond to your question, i absolutely believe that a infant spirit could communicate. anything really can.

[AllyLoveLove]

Thank you, Alsie.

Ky

[trudy_causey]

Ally,
  My niece did let me know that she was dying, because 3 days before her death I kept having the same dream, I kept seeing a man taking a body out of a truck that was wrapped completely in white. I didn't know who the man was but I never put it together. My sister had been trying to get in touch with me on Friday Feb. 27th that was the day my dream started and the last dream I had was on the night of the 29th and Monday morning I was finally notified that Amanda had passed.It is strange how things work out it was on the 20th my birthday that she became ill but at first the drs. thought she was going to be o.k. because she had started reacting to the drugs but by the 27th everything went haywire and she went into cardiac arrest.
Amanda had been sick for awhile off and on but each time she would recover, but this time I guess her  body was just to weak to fight any longer and my sister was with her and she told her to go to the light that her grandmother was there waiting for her and she would take her hand. My sister said no sooner had she said that Amanda just gave up the ghost and went home.

[AllyLoveLove]

Trudy,

How heartbreaking. How old was Amanda?

It is so difficult to let go of loved ones, especially a child. Even if we believe that our loved ones carry on in spirit, it is still so hard to know that we will not be able to share this life with them anymore.

You must have a special bond with Amanda. How comforting it must be to have contact with her. Does your sister find comfort in knowing that you have connected with Amanda since her passing? Does she believe?

Ky

[trudy_causey]

My sister and I stay in constant contact with each other even though she lives in Charlesto SC and I live in NC. I called her the other day because Amanda had come to me in a dream and wanted to know why her mother was so upset.So I called Fran and asked her what she was worried about and she wanted to know how I knew. I told her that Amanda had come to me and wanted me to find out what was wrong.She was tickled to death that I had heard from Amanda. Fran's boy friend has seen Amanda since she passed but Fran ahs yet to see her or communicated with Amanda. I don't know if Amanda thinks she may not be ready for her to come to her Mom. It may be to soon yet, she may want to give Fran more time to adjust.Fran is a very open minded person my entire family believed in the afterlife. My brother has a 6th sense.

[ghostyy79]

im sorry to hear about your loss,i know how you feel.i lost my twin girls 3 yrs ago nov 10th and 12th.they were almost 4 months early so they never opened thier eyes and were very small but i had a few dreams of them at around 2 yrs of age which was strange to me.i think if she comes to you at any age in dreams you will know her because you will feel her.i have had a few dreams of them at different ages but never over the age of about 2 or 3 so i think in my opinion that she could contact you.everyone has a spirit whether or not they were born alive,she was alive inside you and for that to be she needed a soul right?she probably has contacted you and your memory blocked it out.again im sorry for you and hope you have a good life/best regards

[AllyLoveLove]

Hi, Ghostyy, and welcome to Ghost Village!

Thank you so much for the kind words. I am also sorry to hear about the loss of your twin girls. What did you name them?

A friend of mine just lost her un-born baby last week due to the pregnancy being ectopic. She was nine weeks along. The tube burst and she almost died. Thankfully, she is doing well physically.

I bought her a Precious Moments figurine that I have wanted to purchase for myself for many years after we had lost Alanna. It is a baby sleeping on a cloud and the name of the figurine is "Safe in the Arms of Jesus". That phrase is etched on the top of our daughter's headstone.

[ghostyy79]

hi again and thanks for welcoming me.I'm glad you friend is ok but im sorry she lost her baby .I named my girls cynthia nichole and elise cyan but since cynthia died first we changed elises name to elise cynthia on her birth cert.I also have that same precious moments figure along with some snow babies of angels. :)well i hope to talk to you soon and thanx again.

[snoopymom]

I also lost a child.  My daugter had a twin sister.  She actually passed early in my pregnancy and I had to carry her the rest of the pregnancy.  It was heartbreaking.  I took the two first names we picked out and gave them both to my daughter.  My daughter is now three - every year on her birthday I think of all the things she has done and learned and think of how things would have been different.  

I believe that even babies who do not make it all the way through the pregnancy are still connected to the family spiritually.  Just my opinion . . .

[AllyLoveLove]

SnoopyMom,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It must have been very hard to go through most of your pregnancy knowing that one of your sweet babies had died. I only had to endure one day and one night of carrying my daughter and knowing that she was gone. That was a very long and trying day and night. They induced my labor the morning after I found out she had passed. Mercifully, my labor was fairly quick and she was born in the afternoon.

Perhaps your living daughter will have a spiritual connection with her sister someday.

Again, Thank You for sharing.

Ky

[AllyLoveLove]

Ghostyy,

What beautiful names for your sweet little girls.

Isn't that Precious Moments figurine so special? It is just so peaceful and calming. I have always loved that one, but I keep putting off getting one for myself. Maybe I will make that a little gift to myself this Christmas.  

You're welcome for the welcome.  ;D

And, please, "talk" some more!

Ky