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knock,knock were with the church or mormons!


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#1 rattie_lover

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Posted 03 February 2004 - 07:26 PM

::)is it me or is everyone flooded with a neighborhood full of those white collared mormon elder boys? i'm not against religion but it seems we always get these mormon boys comming to our house. its annoying. they seem to come to the door when i'm about to step out? i don't want to be mean to them but i just have to tell them i'm not interested. next week there out to my house again with 3 more buddies trying to get me to join the church of mormon >:). before halloween they had a petition going around wanting us to ban halloween because its the devils holiday. what todo about these boys? any ideas???? ???
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#2 wayne2241

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Posted 03 February 2004 - 07:29 PM

This is the solution I used once. I answered the door naked and told them they were just in time for the orgy. Haven't had one stop by since. It worked on the Jehova's Witnesses, so I presume it'll work for Mormons as well.

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#3 MoonChild

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Posted 03 February 2004 - 10:49 PM

This is the solution I used once. I answered the door naked and told them they were just in time for the orgy. Haven't had one stop by since. It worked on the Jehova's Witnesses, so I presume it'll work for Mormons as well.

[smiley=cwm20.gif]

this damned stuff happens here too, sorry, I am not against anyone's religious beliefs but "GIVE THAT BAD_WORD SPACE"! and talking about Orgy to someone who doesn;t even have common sense, well, it may work, it may work. You know, there was this guy, who went wild at me because I played Rock music when we were hanging out. He tried to preach a lot about Rock, but then, once I played Number of the Beast from Iron Maiden, well, he LEFT! Thank God!


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#4 aloha_spirit

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Posted 04 February 2004 - 12:38 AM

As the resident Mormon, I guess I gotta respond.  Just know that we aren't all like that.  LdS the world over make fun of Utah Mormons and their wacky ways (how many times a week can you eat lime jello with canned pears?).  Like all generalizations, there are exceptions.

::)is it me or is everyone flooded with a neighborhood full of those white collared mormon elder boys?

There are over 60,000 full-time missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, so there's a good chance that at least one companionship walks your city looking for people to teach.

i'm not against religion but it seems we always get these mormon boys comming to our house. its annoying. they seem to come to the door when i'm about to step out? i don't want to be mean to them but i just have to tell them i'm not interested. next week there out to my house again with 3 more buddies trying to get me to join the church of mormon >:). before halloween they had a petition going around wanting us to ban halloween because its the devils holiday. what todo about these boys? any ideas???? ???


It surprises me that Mormons from any clime would want to put a stopper in Halloween.  Most wards (congregations) have youth dances where they can sport costumes (ok, no masks).  For the younger kids, we have trunk-or-treat in the church parking lot.  They are happy since they get candy and show off their costumes, while the parents are happy to know where all the goodies come from.

There's two ways to stop the elders from returning to your door (guarunteed 6 month break).  You can either scare them about some skeletons in the Church's closet, or try a polite  approach.

The nice approach:  Ask to see their Area Book.  Every companionship should have one.  It helps them keep track of which houses they knocked doors, who's on which discussion, when baptisms are marked, etc.  Mormons are excessive about records.  Once they show you the Area Book, ask them to mark your address as Do Not Disturb.  Missionaries are constantly being sent to other cities, so a mark in the Area Book is the only way for the greenies to know your desire.  Also, missionaries are not to knock on doors marked "No Solicitors"

How do you scare an elder?

* If you're from the deep South, ask about President Kimball's 1978 revelation.

* Tell them you've already prayed and know the Adam-God Theory to be true.

* Ask what Governor Young's relationship was to John D Lee and the MMM (be sure to abbreviate MMM).  When they recover enough, call Juanita Brooks a Mormon Lover.

* Have a small painting of Joseph Smith, with candles burning in front of it.

* Tell them you're one of the three Nephites.  Say the other two will be over later for a game of poker.  Be sure to give a Native American name if you go this route.

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#5 NocturnalCantaloupe

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Posted 04 February 2004 - 04:50 AM

It's not just mormons, It can be any religion... mainly the christian religions.  Heck, I had a Lutheran pastor that preached that your childrens friends were agents of the devil and would try to corrupt your children.  My wife and I promptly left that church along with the rest of our family.  The pastor was just getting out of whack.  

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#6 wayne2241

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Posted 04 February 2004 - 05:23 AM

Absolutely. I would never dream of infringing on another's religious beliefs, but I think the point that was being made is the persistence and pushiness of some missionaries. It's not a way to win souls. As a former minister, I know this. You need to find some kind of common ground or interest before the jump into religion. But yes any religion can be guilty of this.

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#7 whispers_of_fire

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Posted 04 February 2004 - 07:35 AM

[smiley=cwm19.gif] [smiley=cwm19.gif]who are you and what have you done to Aloha_Spirit? OMGOSH...that was TOO funny, AS
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#8 Persia

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Posted 04 February 2004 - 08:28 AM

I always get the Jehova's Witnesses. EVERY Saturday and Sunday. I mean if i wasn't interested the day before i won't be the next.

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#9 mellilotflower

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Posted 04 February 2004 - 10:29 AM

A friend of mine claimed that after a nights drinking with friends at his house, following the last night of A midsummer nights dream, he was woken up by a couple of jehovas witnesses, rather annoyed he shrugged on his maroon satin dressing gown, grabbed the donkey's head, smeared it and himself with fake blood and answered the door.  They ran screaming and never returned...

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#10 Bridget

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Posted 04 February 2004 - 11:09 AM

Aloha  ;D ;D ;D

That was pretty  generous of you to respond to that!
My mom had a Jehovah Witness lady come to our house every week. My mom was too kind to turn her away, so she would let her come in and do her little preaching with her Awake magazine. Well, that went on for 20 years! We watched her kids grow up, as she watched us grow up. Even when we moved the lady found us. But after a while they actually became friends, although my mom was never converted.
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#11 freyjasdottir

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Posted 04 February 2004 - 02:42 PM

My dad used to have problems with the Baptist Church down the street till he told him we were Druids and that's why we let the giant oak tree get out of hand (it nearly crossed the street it was so big)...but that was one of the nicer things he's done over time
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#12 Willow

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Posted 04 February 2004 - 04:33 PM

There's two ways to stop the elders from returning to your door (guarunteed 6 month break).  You can either scare them about some skeletons in the Church's closet, or try a polite  approach.


More than likely i'm using the scare method ;D
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#13 whispers_of_fire

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Posted 04 February 2004 - 10:44 PM

[quote]
*Snickers*Fibber,you would not, you're too decent a person!

Okay, we get a LOT of J/W's and they never seem to get the hint "I'm on my way out-go 'way now!" If it wasn't for the karmic penalty for running down a sestagenarian, I'd use that as a solution.

For whatever reason, I get the young and pretty JW's, staring and a generous helping of lewd comments get the sentiment across
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#14 aloha_spirit

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Posted 04 February 2004 - 11:23 PM

[smiley=cwm19.gif][smiley=cwm19.gif]who are you and what have you done to Aloha_Spirit? OMGOSH...that was TOO funny, AS


I am still the Aloha Spirit.  I am still active in the Church.  I am still worthy of a temple recommend.

You just caught me when I felt it safe to let my sense of humor show a little.  We have to learn to laugh at ourselves.

If you thought my methods were funny now, try finding out what they really mean.  If anyone tries them, please either post the results or email me.

Be nice to missionaries.  Offer them water on hot days.  If you are not interested in the message, let them know so they can spend their time teaching those who are.

Since this is a ghost related board, I guess I have to put something to make it on-topic...

Seances, tarot cards, and ouija boards are strongly spoken against in Christianity.  Most missionaries will run for the hills if they see you using these tools.  As always, never do anything that makes you uncomfortable.

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#15 snap43nib

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Posted 05 February 2004 - 12:53 AM

They can be a pain, but not as bad as the Jehovah's Witnesses whom don't take a "no" or "I'm not interested" for an answer.  I have nothing against any religion but I hate people that have to forcably push their beliefs on you.

As far as Mormons/ Latter day saints go, I live near Kirtland, Ohio, so we tend to get quite a few roaming missionaries trying to convert you.
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