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How do I tell them what I am


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#31 7th

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Posted 13 March 2004 - 02:56 PM

Wind of Light, being a mom...and having 4 sons, one of which is one year younger than you, I would say that you have a long road of learning ahead of you.  I don't believe your parents are ready to hear any kind of Wicca information at this time.  The days of the program "Bewitched" are forgotten and programs that create the scary side of the belief system you are learning is all to prevalent.  There has been some really good advice given in here.  Maybe I'm a chicken in suggesting you remain quiet a bit longer, but if parents or anyone for that matter are not receptive to different ideas, different ways of life, then they are not ready to hear or learn and giving them literature won't help much.  Patience is the key word here, and give yourself time to learn more yourself.  Golly, I hope I'm not rambling as what is in my heart and mind is not coming out of my fingertips to the keyboard very well.  May your path be full of learning, and may you always see the good in all situations.

#32 Willow

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Posted 14 March 2004 - 08:08 AM

All very good points 7th, and it should of came to me to ask wind's age, this really changes my point of view on the subject quite a bit...theres no reason you even have to tell them your Wiccan just yet, your just realizing your own beliefs and should focus more on figuring those out than letting your parents know..what if it doesnt go well and say a year from now your beliefs change, you'd of accomplished nothing except to upset yourself and your parents...just remember that your beliefs are sacred and will always be yours so theres no reason to rush it :)
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#33 Wind of Light

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Posted 14 March 2004 - 08:55 AM

Okay, I didnt tell her yet... when she woke up, i forgot about it...I have been a wiccan since i was twelve, about 16 months, and its all gone well since then...:)  well ill wait and tell her, and my dad, in a couple of years...
-Du Súndavar Freohr-===================================--------------------------------------------Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

#34 Vampchick21

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Posted 14 March 2004 - 03:49 PM

Yeah, waiting would be best.  I was 14 when I started looking into other religions (all denominations of Christianity, Judasim, Islam, Hinduism, First Nations Spiritual Beliefs, Wicaa, Golden Dawn and a wide number of Pagan faiths).  My parents were not aware.  For the record, they are Catholic, and my mother was Anglican (daughter of a Vicar) before she married my father.

I started practicing Wicca at around 15.  From there, I grew naturally towards a Celtic-based Pagan faith.  And I still attended Catholic mass every Sunday. (mainly because I lived at home, and you know the story...their house, their rules?)

I was well into my twenties before I mentioned casually that I had adhered to a Pagan belief system.  Now I'm 30.  And they FINALLY stopped thinking it was a phase.

Luckly for me, given my age at the time, no one freaked out.  At least, where I could see them.  :)

On top of that, since I was in my 20's, I knew myself fairly well, and I knew my parents FAR better than I did at 14.  I knew how and when to tell them.  

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#35 Wind of Light

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Posted 21 March 2004 - 07:29 AM

Okay...I will wait and not tell them...but if they see me looking at wiccan stuff on the internet, then i will tell them...but now that i think about, it i agree with Vampchick21.  
-Du Súndavar Freohr-===================================--------------------------------------------Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

#36 MoonChild

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Posted 21 March 2004 - 09:17 AM

Blessed Be ;D
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#37 Vampchick21

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Posted 21 March 2004 - 03:19 PM

Actually, if you think they'll freak out, just simply tell them that you are researching other beliefs and practices to gain a better understanding of the world around you.  Best really not to hide what you are doing on the internet from your parents, especially at your age.

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#38 ZinnianWolf

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Posted 17 September 2004 - 09:24 PM

Maybe you can kinda ask them what is their opinion about the religion, see how much they know as truth versus lies, and then make your decision on whether or not you want to tell them. My mom flipped out when I first told her and I got the "you are so going to hell" speech. I had sat her down one day and explained to her that I am NOT a devil worshipper and explained the do's and don'ts of it. It took her some time to come around, but she did. It was either respect me for my choice in who I connect with spiritually or just leave me be. In the end I earn her respect :(

There are still a lot of people whom I consider to some degree or another as friends, who don't have a clue. It is hard for me sometimes to sit and listen to them talk so negative about something they have no knowledge about except for what they were taught as "truth" in church. And then there are the other friends who know and still like me for WHO I am not WHAT I am. It is a hard decision and you have to be strong and do what feels right to you.

Good Luck :(

#39 anasuya

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Posted 18 September 2004 - 11:10 PM

You know, I became Wiccan at 12 years of age. I got all the books, I had a Ouija board, pendulums, tarot. My parents thought it was a phase, and since I didn't openly talk about it, they didn't feel there was anything to stress over.

My mother began noticing the intensity of my practices when I was seventeen. That's when the worry came in. At 12 years of age, there's still a great deal of innocence to contend with. At 17 years of age, other factors start playing a role, such as peer pressure, which will be much more prevelant in high school years. She thought I was sacrificing chickens and using baby fat in flying ointments. She was really quite freaked for a while. Although, this was partly because my sneaky backstabbing boyfriend at the time decided to have "tea time" with my mother and explain he was worried about my practices as well. :rolleyes:

However, at that age, my mother understood I was old enough to explain myself fully, so I sat down with her and we had our "chat". From that day on, she's been completely accepting of my beliefs. Once a parent realizes it's not a fad, that it IS a religion, and you plan on practicing your faith accordingly, I think the edge of surprise wears off.

I agree that it's probably best to wait until you are a little older. Let your parents see little signs. Nothing big, just a book here, an article there.. something you just "happen" to have lying around. You could even say it's research for a paper. This way, when the time comes TO talk to them, they aren't completely surprised by it.

Good luck and keep us informed.

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#40 Alsie R.

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Posted 19 September 2004 - 12:10 AM

i've been ridiculously lucky with my parents. my mom told me to do whatever makes me feel happy but no dancing around naked in the backyard. lol dad still calls me "the witch" and he thinks its hilarious. the best thing to do is to be honest with them. tell them straight out; don't dance around the subject. i told mine one morning that i wanted to start studying wicca because i thought it was interesting and something that i wanted to do and i'd do it either way.
but you are thirteen wind. that's a bit of a problem. i've been learning about different religions since your age and i'm fifteen now. while it doesn't seem like much, the differences between thirteen and fifteen are huge and i don't know how your parents would take it.
what it basically comes down to is that if your parents truly respect your decisions and want you to be happy, then they'll take it well.

bright blessings,
alsie

p.s. psst... if parents want reading, i suggest wicca for dummies. worked like a charm for mine. :)
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#41 Crone

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Posted 19 September 2004 - 01:48 AM

I'm curious. Have you gotten all your information on Wicca from the internet? There's no way you can really tell which sites are truthfull and which ones are not. Have you searched out like-minded people (as in adults who are currently practicing Wicca) in your community? I gather from your earlier post on what Wicca meant to you, that you've copied something that you read. While this is a good start, can you put it in your own words, and tell us (and your parents) what it says to you in your heart? This is a question that you must be able to answer to yourself, before you can convince others, especially your parents.

At 13, you're just beginning the journey to learn who you will become. There are no definite answers yet. It will take a few years for you to evolve into the person you will be. Learning is the key. Learn as much as you can about all religions. Keep an open mind, and see what each has to offer. Read a lot of books. Visit with different religious communities. Talk to people within them.

This is only the beginning. Take your time. You may decide early on what's right for you. It may take years. You've got your whole life to reach your goal.
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#42 soul_drifter

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Posted 21 September 2004 - 05:41 PM

Wof, I kinda know how you are feeling. I am 15 and been researching Wicca..since..well...your age. At first my mom thought it was nice thinking it was a phase. Then I stopped talking to her about it and when I brought it up again a year later, she told me no. Now I keep researching Wicca, and my mom does not know yet. So here's what I am doing. For another year or 2 I will be looking at it and celebrating the Sabbats in my own way (without the Altar and such) After those year(s) are up I will decide what to do. If you want you can do this as well. It will give you time to prepare and to decide what you want to do. Not to mention it will help you research the pages on Wicca.
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#43 Wind of Light

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Posted 26 September 2004 - 12:24 PM

thanks for all of the replies...i am going to wait until im about 16 or 17 years old to tell them......
-Du Súndavar Freohr-===================================--------------------------------------------Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

#44 tkite

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Posted 27 September 2004 - 02:27 AM

WOL:

I would go to either Silver Ravenwolf's home page, or to Witchvox. You will find things for Teens on Silver's page....... I highly recommend you go to Silver's page first.

Try:

www.silverravenwolf.com

if that doesn't work, run a search on Yahoo or Google for Silver Ravenwolf's home page and you will find it.

Don't make a total decision on your religious beliefs yet. I started looking into other religions when I was your age, and to tell the truth, I am caught between Christian and Wiccan..... Weird combination, I know. Some of my beliefs fall more in the Christian category, and others in Wicca...I was lucky growing up, my Dad told my mom to stop trying to raise us Catholic (Irish, not Roman) because we had a right to choose what we wanted to believe. I agree with my Dad, everyone should have the chance to find their own way rather than be forced into something that will only cause more questions to be asked than answers returned........

Support is only a message away little one.

B)
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#45 Wind of Light

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Posted 04 April 2006 - 05:09 PM

just a fast little update.. i know its been a while... wow, im almost 15... life really has changed a lot since i first made this post, lol. my parents still dont know that im a Wiccan. however, me, my mom, and my sister (8) was watching "Wife Swap" the other day (i think thats what its called) and they had a Wiccan family on there. i still dont know if she believed it was real or what. so i figure when i tell her i wont have to listen to the "you're going to hell" speech. i get that enough as it is at school, lol.

-Wind
PS: i havent really been here for a while because i got caught up in an online game, sorry guys.
-Du Súndavar Freohr-===================================--------------------------------------------Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?




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