130 replies to this topic

[secretsign]

Quote

Money!!!  ;D Just kidding.

Girl you crack me up! let's talk honesty now.

[Rockhauler2k1]

[glow=green,2,300]Emotional intamacy[/glow] is the answer in my opinion.  

It breeds trust, because after all, Being able to be who you are, without fear of not being loved is the key to being honest with yourself and others.

If we allow those we have relationships with to simply be who they are and either take or leave them on that basis , it eliminates alot of deception and hurt.  :-/


Rockhauler2k1

[MoonChild]

Shannon, you ain't Pure Evil but you are    PURELY    E V I L! ;D ha! Nonnie, does she makes you laugh with that EVIL ways?

[whispers_of_fire]

Hi, Shanon, I couldn't agree more*except of course with the last point*its not the easiest thing to do. I think<pardon the ramble>a lot of people see a relationship, even a marriage as two people who see eye to eye on EVERYTHING, the myth of two people walking as one...maybe its just me but I can't think of a worse fate. My ideal mate-while there should be common interest-will spend entire nights staying up and debating poetry, art and the meaning of life 8)

Hi, Rock, an excellent answer and someday I hope to find that special someone

[SpiritsOfMd]

I would have to disagree with trust being on the top of the list :  Trust in my oppinion can only be formed over time.  Most problems in relationships occur after the honeymoon period is over leaving many flabbergasted at the deceit there partner was able to embark upon them and it hurts all that much worse because you trusted them, well this is why I think people put to much emphasis on trust.  Trust is built not given, I wouldnt trust my 3 year old with the neighbor  because they seemed sweet and looked pretty and I knew them for 3 months. But I am not saying everyone is a liar either, lol

I think the core of a good relationship starts with attachment. When a child is born they are unattached to the mother so to speak, they become attached over time. Just as a relationship your attachment to a certain person comes from the building of the relationship and the good times and bad. You have to need the person your with to a degree in order to treat them with respect when making discissions based on honesty, if you dont need them your more likely to be dishonest, if you value them and need them then you will do your best to spare your partners feelings. But everyone will fail at some point and the the very thing you will perceive as a lie can often turn out to be just an oppinion of your partners and without time you will not be able to rationalize their thinking for feeling this way ???  Okay i have been sick and am feeling alittle spacey so befor I confuse anyone anymore I will hush, lol But here is my breakdown on relationships;

1. Physical attraction (gotta have it for the bedroom, if not now in a couple of years lol)
2. Attachment
3. Value of the person
4. Compatibility
5. Desire
6. Motive (most people have one)
7. Trust

[whispers_of_fire]

:oDANG, Spirits! I value trust and honesty, but I can't argue your point, very well said. Hope you feel better soon

[MsPms]

All those things you all said are needed for that life long marriage/family relationships. At the moment i'm in a rather nice and comfortable relationship and I gotta tell ya...
Its all about sex.

I told him that I did not want to be his girlfriend, dont want to hang out with him. This might sound kinda mean but it worked.
We have been together for 5 years. Its perfect.

[maharet]

My insight is very limited into what makes a relationship work since I haven't gotten it right yet. I guess some common goals are good, compromise is a must, honesty, being able to share your feelings without getting too gushy, hmm.... Sounds like I'm rambling here.

Yes, sex is probably number two behind the ability to understand the other person.

[ghosthunter_girl]

Wellll...............after a VERY VERY VERY BAD experience tonight.....I'd have to say the priority before you give your heart away is to love yourself first. I know that may sound egotistical...but you have to be comfortable with yourself before you put your heart on the line. You gotta stand up for yourself if you're treated like crap (I'm happy for you JustMe!)....and you shouldn't put up with someone who doesn't respect you and your beliefs...which is what I've been doing for too long it seems.... I have major trust issues....too many broken hearts....but I'm happy with myself....and that's all that matters for right now!

[maharet]

Amen to the trust and broken hearts.

[whispers_of_fire]

Maharet, I agree, lots of betrayals and fluff ups as far as trusting to the wrong type of person over the years, but eventually, if you're lucky, you find the right person or someone who isn't a total troll, Hun

Ghosthunter_Girl, I think you hit it, you really can't love another or allow yourself to be loved without loving yourself first

[maharet]

I'm waiting for the human among the trolls - I don't think he exists at this stage in the game.

[MoonChild]

if I were a woman, DIAMONDS

but since I am a man, WARMTH   (can be hot too )

[Willow]

Relationships much like this question are complicated, theres so many obvious answers but for me these traits include(in no particular order) respect, intelligence, trust, physical attraction, sense of humor and compassion...the one thing i always ask for is the respect for individuality, most times people fall in love and theres always something down the road they want to change about the other person (give it bad habits, way they dress...etc) If you fell in love with that person, you shouldn't want to change them unless its a problem thats life threatening!

[CajunKnight]

First of all I have to be attracted to them in some way,
I enjoy intelligence, I don't like talking to a rock,
Then I have to like them, this can take some time,
Then I must be able to trust them,
Since of humor is a must, you gotta make me smile,
Good sex is always a plus,
I have to learn to love you,
Then when it comes that nothing else matters but you, then we have it made.

Of course a fishing boat and owning a liquor store can make it all worthwhile, J/K   ;D