130 replies to this topic

[whispers_of_fire]

Hi, Maharet, There are a few humans amongh the trolls still, Hun

Hi, Willow, Very well said, my friend and I think you hit a crucial point, I've known a few people-both sexes-who tried to re-make the other person into their own ideal image*dress like this, talk like this and wear your hair like that*usually this brought the relationship to a very abrupt close. Thank you for mentioning that, Hun ;D 8)

Hi, Cajun, well said*Um, maybe a hunting lodge instead of a fishing boat* ;D

[freyjasdottir]

You know on the surface saying intelligence sounds crude, but its true...if you person has to do all the finances and all the homework help and all the "official" things, it gets OLD QUICK, not even mentioning that you have to use words of one syllable.  My Grandfather once said that the reason his mother (my Great-Grandmother) was as nasty as she was sometimes is because what she figured at Sunday at noon, her husband (my Great-Grandfather) might start to think about Satuarday before bed.

[maharet]

This is not to insult the men who know precisely what they want in a woman and respect women as people and not simply...what's the word I want...ornaments with a flighty personality. However, I've observed many of my own male friends as they describe their ideal woman and then try to mold the woman they're dating into something she is not and cannot be. Then, attribute the "psycho" tag if she gets BAD_WORD off about it.

In many cases, men claim they like smart, strong women with a good sense of humor and an open mind. However, they don't understand how to deal with a woman like that (proving quite amusing as I watch melodramas unfold) and promptly make themselves into a victim (even more amusing since they're looking for sympathy).  Sometimes, it seems men just want a beautiful woman who likes everything they do and reflexively agree with everything they say and do as well as provides sex as often as they want it and whenever they want it.

These aren't just gripes - I fully blame myself for my lack of love life due to a lack of sparkling personality. I just seem to play counselor to my friends' an awful lot and have based my opinion on observations.

[CajunKnight]

You have made some good observations, and just for the record my first wife was an ornament with a flighty personality.

I have found real quick that you can not change a person, you can help them on there way with support if they have the will to change but only then.

Hmm... Hunting lodge.... that could be a fair trade off.

[eulac]

How he treats me--that's the most important.  My husband and I have been together for 4 years and he is so great.  My family even likes him!  Before that I was engaged to a man who abused me (he even went so far as to try to kill me after I broke up with him).  When I finally got my head screwed on straight I realized that how the other person treats me is most important.

Ericka

[whispers_of_fire]

Maharet*applauds*I totally agree,I've been my friends' unofficial councilor for the last 5 years as far as their relationships go and its for this reason alone that I'm not rushing out to find someone with all the drama I see
and hear about. I think its a matter of perspective, my friend, I'd rather have insight than a high pitched giggle
or hair flipping and would rather have someone that could debate the meaning of life with me 'til dawn than someone who will instantly agree with everything I say.

Cajun*LOL*As long as you're not snake or gator hunting I'm in ;D Man, I'm sorry to hear that, I've had 2 g/f's that were the same type and neither relationship lasted longer than 4 months, it just wore on me that she/they agreed with everything and it came to the point that I'd be making up totally left field stuff and sure enough she agreed

[pohowe]

hmmmm.... well I am not sure how I want to say this. I think the key to a lasting relationship is finding that person you can be totally yourself around. Someone you are completely comfortable with. Someone who loves you in the morning with your bad breath and crusty eyes. Someone who laughs with you and not at you. Even when you let one fly.....lol

[flyingorb]

Gosh, maybe I just got lucky when I found my wife.  we celebrated our 25th anniversary last January.

I really love Sharon, she has given me 5 of the happiest years of my life! ;D

[Angel]

Well I think the #1 priority is trust then (for me) has to be respect. Gotta have some good ole sexual chemistry 2!!! (OOOOO YYEEEAAAAA ;D )
As for the best friend/lover thing, well, you best friend will not necessarily turn into a lover, but (at least in my case) my lover turned into my bestfriend & I think THAT is perfect (at least 4 us) And yes (lol) we argue, who doesn't, but BAD_WORD! Ain't makinn up fun??!!! ;D

[Bangin]

Sounds harsh, krcguns.  As you already know, you definitely have a place here at GhostVillage!   ;D  Take care.

[Angel]

Hey krc, I'm sry about whats goin on with you  :'(  {hugs} It sucks BAD hwen a relationship breaks up, but (maybe u don't wanna hear it) it might be for the best. There is no relationship where you should have to be something or someone your not! NEVER! Trust me, I'm strange as hell, and if I can find someone who not only ACCEPTS that but also LOVES that, then anyone can. I know you don't wanna think about that now, but just remember it ok? I love talking, and LISTENING (I'm told I'm excellent at both   ) so if you need it......you can find me if you want  {hugs 4 u!!!!}

[nonnie]

Brian,

If your going to air our dirty laundry here atleast tell it right! I had no problems with your opinions and you know it! I would appriciate it if you would not talk about me or our relationship on the posts here. Do what you want in private messages I don't care. The people who know "us" will know the truth and not just your half truths. Enough Said!

[flyingorb]

If either of you just feel the need to talk to someone, I'm here, don't forget that.

[krcguns]

Thanks flying and Angel, I really appreciate that a ton! :'(

[Rockhauler2k1]

Krc,

Easy does it cowboy.  

Relationships have their uses. Without love , we live a very lonely existence. Im certain that if you want things to work out and your counterpart feels likewise , anything can be sorted out. Sometimes it takes awhile for tempers to cool before the real cause of the issues that ignited said anger can even be discussed.

I have found that kindness goes a long way. Believe me I have been the brunt of the issue and have had the rolls reversed. Either way deciding what the relationship means to you and what your going to do about it is all that matters.

I wish you both well and if there is anything way I can be of assistance please let me know.

Rockhauler2k1

P.S. Peace and love is found through compromise.