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#16 651_Paranormal

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Posted 05 May 2003 - 11:45 AM

Thanks Nonnie... ;D
"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity." -Edgar Allen Poe-

#17 whispers_of_fire

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Posted 05 May 2003 - 11:54 AM

Hi, Masque-congratulations, Amiga ;) I can certainly see if you write for yourself, I do and for the special person in my life, but I hope you'll post something of yours, too

Hi, Paranormal_451...OMG, I consider myself talented, but this is INCREDIBLE. Thank you for sharing it :)

Hi, Sweet Willow, BULLBUTTER, young Miss :P You're far more talented than I am, but I'm hoping that if I hang out with you often enough, a bit of your talent will rub off ;D

Guys I have a problem. I've tried to send stuff to poetry.com recently and am being told there are too many lines when I'm shortening lines so there's no run off or being told that the 70 character per line is being exceeded when there's a MAX of 60 (including spaces between words). I tried sending the poem in question to their email address so they can problem shoot it but mailer demon sent it back. DUDE...I'm starting to develop a serious complex :'(
Remember...vote for New Orleans for our '05 Reunion...this is not a subliminal message...New Orleans! Obey Whispers of Fire! New Orleans

#18 whispers_of_fire

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Posted 05 May 2003 - 12:07 PM

I'm an absolute sucker for love poems, but there's something cleansing about break up poems, especially in a case like this.

                      Sandcastles
"It doesn't matter if there was a misunderstanding.
You misjudged me," her topaz eyes were distant stars.
"I've had many dreams over the past few weeks
and my visions are never wrong.
I hope you find what you're looking for one day,"
her footsteps' echoes mocked my howl of grief.

Gray winged gulls wheeled like crows over a battlefield,
their shrill cries were a clarion trumpet's call
for gray-green waves to storm the tiny castle,
cast down the proud defiance of sculpted walls.
The tide, a ravening hoard, devouring all trace of passage.
Arthur was lucky to have died before his dream's collapse.

My throat constricted against the bile of your words.
Memories of your touch, your lips' taste burned,
a forcefed I.V. line of hydrochloric acid.
I watch as remembered sighs and whispering flesh
transformed into mockery's laughter and arctic accusation
and turn away from this castle of your lies.

Blindly, I splash past oozing remnants of imagination,
a Love that we knew would withstand centuries,
turning into a Jurassic swamp of forced smiles
and uncertain steps on abalone floor of hollow friendship.
I know why the ocean is salty,
its made up of tears.
Remember...vote for New Orleans for our '05 Reunion...this is not a subliminal message...New Orleans! Obey Whispers of Fire! New Orleans

#19 krcguns

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Posted 05 May 2003 - 12:09 PM

651, I have to admit that I am very poetically challenged!  I loved it!  Very good work and I applaud people who have discovered their talent.  I am still waiting! ;D

Whispers, I don't think you have a complex...it's a simple!  LOL!!! ;D ;D ;D  But hey...very good work!  I really liked yours also!  Keep it up!!
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#20 651_Paranormal

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Posted 05 May 2003 - 12:09 PM

Thank you whispers, and  you are very talented!!
Thank you as well krc. ;D
"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity." -Edgar Allen Poe-

#21 nonnie

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Posted 05 May 2003 - 01:41 PM

Whispers,

Great job...what a use of words...are you a walking thesaurus??  :o

#22 whispers_of_fire

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Posted 05 May 2003 - 02:01 PM

Hi, KRC, thanks, Man ;D See...its a simple thing they don't love me 'nymore :'(

Hi, Paranormal and thanks :) Do you have any suggestions or should I start hitting local magazines?
Remember...vote for New Orleans for our '05 Reunion...this is not a subliminal message...New Orleans! Obey Whispers of Fire! New Orleans

#23 whispers_of_fire

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Posted 05 May 2003 - 02:06 PM

Awww, thanks, Nonnie :-[ Naw, I'm just a Geek*glances and Willow and chuckle snorts*
Remember...vote for New Orleans for our '05 Reunion...this is not a subliminal message...New Orleans! Obey Whispers of Fire! New Orleans

#24 Willow

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Posted 05 May 2003 - 02:09 PM

Thank you 651 for the kind comments and i thinks i'm being out versed on my own thread dear friend Whispers, you have a way with words that make beautiful visuals, your far modest about your talents and hang in there hun, a talent like yours doesn't go unpublished long :)
Either write things worth reading,
Or do things worth the writing.



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Posted 05 May 2003 - 03:23 PM

What The Heck Here's One More.

Love's Lament

Oh, where were those lovely words when I was losing you?
Where was the phrase that would make you stay?
To see you makes my heart dance and my mind cloud,
but losing you shuts me down, with no hope of
retaining that dear love we once shared.
Love comes once, maybe twice in a lifetime,
and so I have missed the first go-around.
Yet I can not blame you any more than myself,
'cause I have hurt you more than I can stand,
and in that hurt I have buried my own soul.
You were the key that opened my heart when you left, you broke that key off in the
lock, leaving me wanting you, loving you, and needing you.
In the midst of all this sudden chaos
I stopped to look, and I found you were already gone.

#26 krcguns

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Posted 05 May 2003 - 03:36 PM

651, you have amazing talent with words!  I think you will be able to go really far!  Keep it up! :)
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#27 freyjasdottir

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Posted 05 May 2003 - 03:52 PM

Ok, here's the one I got the last letter about publication on:


Air in There

Ears pricked up, off runs the cat,
Toilet paper crashing down as shelves rumble,
Mommy make it stop, it hurts,
The little ones yell clamping shut their ears,
High pitched squealing like a mad flute,
A dash into the room,
A flush of the commode,
Finally quiet,
Bad plumbing and all.


nothing fancy, but thanks everyone
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#28 whispers_of_fire

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Posted 05 May 2003 - 05:01 PM

Ah, my Dearest Friend Willow, 'tis a forum hazard. But I disagree, I have talent, yes, but I think you're better at setting a mood and overall imagery, so you're talenteder
SO THERE :) LOL*Maybe I'm fated to go the Poe route and become a sensation posthumously ;D its enough to make me want to fake my death. Either way, Luv, thank you  for your support and comments:)

Hi, Paranormal_451, I like it and I know how painful it is to lose someone you cherish. I really liked the line about her breaking the key off in the door as an analogy

Hi, Masque, Nicely done ;D, I kept thinking it was a 'quake until the last stanza and I really liked the line about the mad flute
Remember...vote for New Orleans for our '05 Reunion...this is not a subliminal message...New Orleans! Obey Whispers of Fire! New Orleans

#29 flyingorb

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Posted 05 May 2003 - 05:46 PM

Wow!  So much talent, it makes me a bit jealous.  Some have the gift, in others (like me) it is sadly lacking.

I do want to share one poem that I learned in my youth.  It has stayed with me especially during troubled times.

It's NOT mine and I do not know who wrote it.

Be like the bird
Who halting in his flight
On twig too slight
Feels it give way neath him
Yet sings
as he knows he has wings

This little poem made quite an impression on me.
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#30 whispers_of_fire

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Posted 06 May 2003 - 01:20 PM

Hi, Flying, THAT is a very cool poem...because it made an impact on you :)
Remember...vote for New Orleans for our '05 Reunion...this is not a subliminal message...New Orleans! Obey Whispers of Fire! New Orleans




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