Posted 09 October 2010 - 02:41 PM
Hi Jen, and welcome to our Village. You should keep something very important in mind right now. Our grief over losing a loved one is something that keeps a spirit from crossing over. The more a person grieves, without healing emotionally, the harder it is for Spirit to leave this plane for the next one. That is one of the reasons we have funerals and death rituals. They aren't for the deceased, they are for us - to help us to write "The End" to that person's life story and to help us to move on and continue to live. Since you mention that you had a romantic connection with this person some time ago, there might be a little unfinished business for you. Not necessarily for him, but for you. It would depend on how that romantic relationship ended, if one or both still had some lingering feelings or doubt, and so on. If, for instance, he ended the romance and you agreed but secretly wished it would someday work out, you would also be grieving for the loss of someday having a love relationship as well as the loss of him. So the more you grieve, the more the spirit of the deceased feels the need to stay by you to comfort and care for you. I don't agree with the guardian angel theory as angels are not the same species as humans, therefore I don't believe that humans can ever become an angel. But I do believe that some spirits can act as guides from the other side but that can only happen if that soul goes to the other side and develops as he or she needs to in order to be able to guide and aide people here. It's only been a short time since you lost your friend. Allow yourself time to grieve over your loss and don't let anyone tell you that you should get over it -there's no timetable to grief. Have a good long cry in the shower. Talk to his parents about him. Visit his grave and leave flowers or a little gift. Talk to him when you are alone and tell him you miss him but know he has to go on. Go about your daily tasks and continue to live. Soon, before you know it, you will realize that certain song on the radio won't make you cry anymore. You'll realize that you are feeling better and then you'll know that you are healing. If that doesn't happen in a reasonable time, and you'll know by your family/friends telling you that they're worried, etc., then look into grief counseling for yourself. And don't forget to appreciate the contact from him as a special sign that he isn't really dead, he's someplace else and you'll be reunited someday.
"Never wrestle with a pig. All you get is dirty and the pig has all the fun." ~ Anon.